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The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.
This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States.
Download Citation | Confrontation and Compromise Middle-Class Matchmaking in Twenty-First Century South India | During my fifteen-month stay in the.
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The Netflix hit “Indian Matchmaking” has stirred up conversations about issues like parental preference in marriage, cultural progress, casteism — and ghosting. Taparia answered questions via email from Mumbai, discussing why none of the matches worked out, her own arranged marriage and how business is booming despite the coronavirus pandemic. Sima Taparia: They are not separate things. Matchmaking is just a tool to help people find a life partner. In India, the process also often involves parents.
Has the show generated new interest in matchmaking with more people wanting to do it?
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Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U. In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness.
A small fraction still practices child marriage, with some communities holding betrothal ceremonies as soon as a girl is born. At the other end of the spectrum, there is growing acceptance of queer relationships, divorce and even avoiding marriage altogether. But most Indian marriages are still arranged.
This is why it comes to no surprise that Indian Matchmaking has particularly South Asian women, and one that I experienced early on at Penn.
Netflix documentary sparks a debate about arranged marriages. Through an ensemble cast of astrologers, face readers, priests, prospective grooms, brides, and parents armed with endless lists of demands on caste, height and skin color, viewers are taken on a voyeuristic tour of the complicated process of matchmaking in India, where 10 million nuptials take place every year. The controversial series has triggered multiple memes, jokes and criticism on social media.
It is also polarizing public opinion among those who prefer love marriages and those who endorse arrangements. In the process, however, the biggest casualty has been nuance, with not even a nod to the golden middle path. When I got married, my husband and I were introduced through senior family members.
We dated for six months to test our compatibility before getting married on Feb. So was ours a love marriage? Or arranged? I’d say a nice blend of both. My husband insists it was love. The love, he jokes, followed the marriage. Our arrangement was a huge leap forward from my grandfather’s generation. Grandpa saw his wife for the first time on their wedding day.
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Though the ethnographic research has been conducted in India, this book is of relevance to social scientists studying matchmaking practices, youth cultures.
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“Indian Matchmaking,”an eight-part documentary for Netflix made by Travelling in South Korea, for example, I learned that the country’s elite.
Two weeks ago Netflix debuted Indian Matchmaking , an eight-episode documentary series that follows Sima Taparia a matchmaker from Mumbai on her quest to find the perfect partner for a mix of South Asian people, both in India and in the U. While entertaining in parts, the show proved to be pretty triggering in a lot of ways. As a first-generation Indian girl who grew up in the U.
Anaa: Oh my God. All the time, are you kidding me? Do you know anyone?
Inside Netflix’s eye-opening look at arranged marriage, your next reality TV obsession
And of course I have. I really cannot stress this enough: Agrabah is not a real place! The genre, after all, encapsulates so much of the human condition, from its elegant docuseries to the shows where women throw wine at each other while their husbands mutter anti-gay slurs in the background.
arranged marriages in India and the South Asian diaspora, matchmaking. For the few who have managed to miss the show’s viral popularity.
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We Need to Talk About ‘Indian Matchmaking’
Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption. A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure. A headstrong year-old lawyer from Houston who says she doesn’t want to settle for just anybody.
All the emotions of that time came rushing back while she watched Netflix’s newest ‘dating show’: Indian Matchmaking. The reality show about a high-flying Indian matchmaker named Sima Taparia has spawned thousands of articles, social media takes, critiques and memes. More importantly, it’s inspired real-life conversations about what it means to be a young South Asian person trying to navigate marriage, love — and yes, parental expectations.
Many young South Asian Australians told ABC Life they’ve seen aspects of their real lives being played out in the show, but that of course, one reality program could never capture the myriad experiences of people across many communities, language groups, religions, genders, sexualities, traditions and castes of the subcontinental region. Some have given up on the tradition by choosing a partner through Western dating, while others have modernised it and made it work for them.
A common thread among all was the question: “How do I keep my parents happy while also doing what I need for myself? For Manimekalai, the force of tradition and expectation from her family to agree to the marriage was strong. The first time her parents started approaching their extended family and friend networks to find a prospective groom, they didn’t even inform her.